Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
