I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
