He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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