hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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