I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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