HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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