I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
