Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
