Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
