I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
