Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
