I want to stick my p in your. b.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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