He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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