just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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