Will you blow on my dice?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
