NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
