Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
