dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
