what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
