I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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