i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
