i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
