ugly people sure do ruin things
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
