so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
