when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I need moral support for this bender
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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