pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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