The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
