i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
