We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
