man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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