So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
