I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
