I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
