my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
