are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
