i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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