I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
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