I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
