SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
