i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
