just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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