I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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