I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
YAS. BRING CRAB.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
