Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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