im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Randomize
