3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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