i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
