If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
