all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
There's always time for handjobs
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
