If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
How's work?
Spinning.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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