i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i believe in u and ur pee
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