I think I just saw someone hide a body.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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